The Marketer is tall, German, handsome and very well endowed. So, I didn’t mind when things deteriorated from dating to booty calls. I mean, I would have preferred to have been girlfriend material, rather than the 1:00 am afterthought, but I could appreciate that he was out of my league (he claimed to have previously dated Kelly Brook), so I was happy just to have been invited at all.

On this fateful night, I was ushered upstairs to his room and undressed as we kissed. He pulled down his trousers and undergarments and I began to give him a blowjob. After a few strokes, I felt his hand on the back of my head, encouraging me to perform the act in a more rigorous manner.

What happened next should be a warning to men to never push a person’s head up and down while they are performing an oral act on you. After a few minutes, the Marketer was really going for it, pushing with such force that I was deep-throating his penis. Then, with one particularly mighty push, his cock went the wrong side of my tongue and my frenulum* ripped!

I began gagging as blood began to pool at the bottom of my mouth, which triggered Marketer to release the back of my head. He is a very lucky that my knee jerk reaction wasn’t to bite down on his penis. Like the little train that could, I downed my glass of wine and then went on to finish the (blow) job.

The extent of the injury wasn’t realised till the following day. When I woke up, the blood in my mouth had congealed, glueing my tongue to the bottom of my mouth. To heal the wound, I had to gargle with salt water and only eat soft food for two weeks. To this day, I am still able to stick my tongue out about 2cm further than before the incident.

* Frenulum – the membrane extending from the floor of the mouth to the midline of the underside of the tongue.