So this is by far my worst date story. I started chatting with a guy online…it was so long ago I can’t remember what I had thought about our chat leading up to our date. Or I’ve had so many first date/disappointments that I’ve stopped trying to remember!
I met up with this guy for a drink. The problem started when he kept buying the next drink before I had even finished the last, and set quite a fast drinking pace to the evening. Now, I can drink: I don’t want to stereotype myself but I am Irish…and I have worked in events for years. I can definitely hold my own. But after 4 or 5 pints of cider on an empty stomach after work, in rapid succession. I was fucked. I had to insist to this guy that we needed to call it a night. Again I can’t even remember how the date was going otherwise! I vaguely remember it was just ok. You know, fine to chat but we wouldn’t see each other again type. So we’re outside the bar trying to get a taxi, for which he said he would share and pay for my ride. All of a sudden I projectile vomited over a hedge and onto the side of the building. I seriously suspect I looked like the Exorcist… And then the guy stuck his tongue down my throat trying to kiss me!!! I mean what the fuck!!! There was no mistaking the fact that I was violently ill…makes me feel sick just to think of him trying to kiss my vomit mouth!
When we finally get into the taxi, he tries to come back to mine to “sleep on the couch”. I had to get firm that he was not coming back…and yet still paying for me 😉 the next day he messaged like the date had gone fantastically….delete.